I constantly meet people that want to like anime, but feel overwhelmed by the amount of cutesy stuff. There are a lot of cutesy anime out there, and they do form a significant portion of what anime there is, but I do not think that it is such a large chunk that it takes away from everything else.
In fact, I am quite sick and tired of hearing about it. I hate whiners. Consider this post a big “Shut up and quit whining” to anyone that says that he can’t find anything that isn’t cutesy. That person is just lazy as shit or they don’t want to admit they’re wrong. This list is 100% accurate, because I fucking hate slice-of-life “cute” anime about average high school schmoes. I hate that shit with a passion. Slice-of-life is shit.
Alternatively, you could think of this as one huge ass recommendation list that you can give to casuals.
This list is based upon my MyAnimeList profile. I will classify each one as either “cutesy shit” or “not cutesy shit.” This shit is in alphabetical order (although I will rename them to the names that people know), so there is absolutely no cherrypicking whatsoever; you know, because moe is not correlated with letters. There are some omissions, but these are to make the list less redundant; for example, I didn’t bother to include the eight Detective Conan OVAs because they’re exactly like the TV series. I also skip Death Note, because everyone and their grandmother has seen that one.
There are a shit ton of images in this post, so hopefully your internet doesn’t implode. I try to get images from the actual material, so you can get an idea as to what it looks like. As always, I try to provide sources for my images but sometimes it’s just some image hosting website or some fansubber’s website.
1. 3×3 eyes
Not cutesy shit. It has a cute female main character, but so what? Blood, guts, and gratuitous violence are everywhere in this one. Shit, there was so much that I found it annoying.
2. Abenobashi Mahou Shoutengai
Not cutesy shit, but it’s LOLGAINAXENDING so your choice. I think it’s shit, personally.
Nothing Kuri Yoji has done is cutesy shit, but rather LOLDEEPARTSYSHIT.
Not cutesy shit, but still shit.
5. Alien Nine
Not cutesy shit, although the main characters are cute girls. It’s more like nightmare fuel with cute girls. So, it’s Evangelion.
At the end they get mindfucked by this Eldritch abomination. Fun stuff.
6. Ao no 6-nou (Blue Submarine No. 6)
Not cutesy shit, but utter shit. Crying sharks, etc. Fuck this anime.
7. Arata naru Sekai: Mirai-hen
I don’t know. High school girls go time traveling to save their world from exploding or something. Is that cute?
8. Aru Tabibito no Nikki
Definitely not cutesy shit.
9. Azumanga Daioh
Cutesy shit! Finally, after eight entries, we got one. I would say, “Read the manga,” but I think everyone has seen this one already.
Not cutesy shit. Only an insane person would think this.
11. Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu
Not only is it cutesy shit (Hideyoshi, etc.), but it’s also harem shit. I like it, though.
12. Bakuretsu Tenshi
Debatable. It’s more girls kicking ass than being cute. It’s still garbage, though.
13. Bamboo Blade
Cutesy shit, but still good.
Not cutesy shit. It’s about students fighting for expired food.
15. Big Wars
A big pile of shit, but not cutesy shit. There’s a hinting of homo-eroticism, though, after about 4 sex scenes (no it is not pornographic). It makes good heckling material, though, so watch it with friends.
16. Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai
More harem shit than cutesy shit, honestly. I watch it for Yozora, and everyone has their favorite character, so I suppose this is cutesy shit.
By the way, everyone is that picture is a horrible character.
17. Boku, Otaryman
Not cutesy shit, but not very funny either.
18. Candy Boy
19. Captain Harlock
THIS IS NOT CUTESY SHIT, IF YOU THINK THAT THEN DIE IN A FIRE. Also, this movie is not actually about Captain Harlock.
Not cutesy shit.
21. Chinmoku no Kantai
Not cutesy shit, but borderline Japanese ultra nationalism. Watch Japanese people run circles around the helpless United States Navy.
22. Code Geass and Code Geass R2
Not cutesy shit. I guess.
23. Computer Kakumei
Not cutesy shit. About computers and shit.
24. Cowboy Bebop
I can skip this one.
25. Dead Leaves
Not cutesy shit.
26. Death Billiards
Not cutesy shit. It’s pretty good, too.
27. Dennou Coil
I don’t know.
28. Denpa Teki na Kanojo
Cute girls, but they are fucking psycho and will not hesitate to whip out the box cutter and fuck your shit up. Not cutesy shit, I don’t care what you say.
29. Detective Conan
Not cutesy shit, unless you like little boys.
Not cutesy shit.
31. Ergo Proxy
Not cutesy shit, but pretty fucking shitty regardless.
32. Rebuild of Evangelion
Rei Ayanami is pretty fucking moe, yo. I think Rebuild has a greater emphasis on the “cute” aspects of certain characters when compared to the original, but I think it still does not qualify as cutesy shit despite Rei being pretty damn fucking cute.
That third movie is pretty fucking gay, by the way.
33. Eve no Jikan
Not cutesy shit.
34. Fate/stay night
Plain shit. This series does not deserve an image.
Not cutesy shit. This series is also much better.
36. First Squad
Not cutesy shit, but I don’t recommend it to anyone honestly except those with Russophile tendencies.
Not cutesy shit.
38. Fullmetal Alchemist
Not cutesy shit. Brotherhood is the one of the best anime ever made.
39. Genius Party
Not cutesy shit.
Genius Party and Genius Party Beyond are actually bundles of animated shorts by different directors. They’re all different from each other and they are all pretty fucking out there. However, the one depicted above is called “Wanwa the Doggy” directed by Shinya Ohira and is one of my personal favorites. Another really good is called “Happy machine” directed by Masaaki Yuasa. That talented bastard.
40. Ghost Hunt
Not cutesy shit. Is only really creepy towards the end.
41. Ghost in the Shell
Not cutesy shit. Kinda boring too. I think existentialism is boring.
42. Giant Robo the Animation
One of the manliest things ever made. It has Gendo Ikari on rocket boosters punching a death machine until it explodes. Just pure manliness.
43. Legend of the Galactic Heroes
Manliest thing ever. Also probably the greatest anime ever made.
44. Girls und panzer
Cutesy shit, but it’s good. It fortunately features a fucking shit ton of tanks.
45. Great Teacher Onizuka
Biker gang leader becomes a high school teacher for a class of the school’s worst juvenile delinquents. I think it’s obvious what this is.
46. Hagure Yuusha no Estetica
Harem shit. Stay away. MC is an alpha that does whatever he wants, though. I also don’t feel like giving this one an image, because this series is a big pile of steaming shit.
47. Hen zemi
It looks cutesy, but everyone in this show is a pervert. It’s a show about fetishes, so I think everyone looking cute makes it into a parody of sorts about sex in anime (seriously, imagine if the girls from K-ON! were talking about BDSM and eating shit because it turns them on).
48. Eden of the East
This anime has some of the best cinematic timing I have ever seen. Is it cutesy shit, though? Depends on your tastes. The character designs could be considered to be “cutesy” but the subject matter is not.
49. Honoo no Tenkousei
Extremely manly. It is a parody of tough guy in high school stuff. Also, anyone that knows shit about anime will notice two references in that opening (the first one begins with “Lightning” and the second rhymes with “hoes”).
50. Hoshi no Koe
Not cutesy shit. In fact, the characters are fucking hideous.
Cutesy shit: 7
Not cutesy shit: 41
I don’t know: 2
14% of this shit is cutesy shit, so not bad. If I can manage that, so can you. See what I mean when I am confused when people complain about this shit? If big eyes just turn you off, then there’s nothing I can do about that.
Images from source material:
- 3×3 eyes
- Abenobashi Mahou Shoutengai
- Ai (Cassie’s Anime and Manga Blog)
- Akira (Scifi Cool)
- Blue Submarine No. 6
- Arata naru Sekai: Mirai-hen
- Aru Tabibito no Nikki
- Big Wars
- Captain Harlock
- Chinmoku no Kantai
- Computer Kakumei
- Dead Leaves
- Death Billiards
- Dennou Coil
- Denpa Teki na Kanojo
- Ergo Proxy
- Genius Party
- Ghost in the Shell
- Girls und panzer
- Hen zemi
- Hoshi no koe
Images from official promotional material:
- Alien Nine
- Azumanga Daioh
- Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu
- Bakuretsu Tenshi
- Bamboo Blade (I think)
- Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai
- Boku, Otaryman
- Candy Boy
- Code Geass
- Cowboy Bebop
- Detective Conan
- Rebuild of Evangelion
- Eve no Jikan
- Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood
- Ghost Hunt
- Giant Robo the Animation
- Legend of the Galactic Heroes
- Great Teacher Onizuka
Images from fanart:
- FLCL (I think)
- Eden of the East