Everytime Faris Nyannyan says “nyan,” I contemplate suicide

Image source: Avvesione’s Anime Blog.

“Nyan” is probably one of the worst “kawaii” shit in existence. Who honestly likes that shit? It’s a fucking meow. I live with cats, and when they “meow” I don’t go “damn that’s sexy.” I say, “What the fuck do you want.” And then I pet them. You don’t pet humans. Why the fuck would a human meow?

But Faris talks it even further. She doesn’t just meow, she sounds like a fucking chipmunk. A chipmunk that makes cat sounds. How the fuck does that make sense? Not even that, but how the fuck is a cat-chipmunk chimera in any way “kawaii”? What the fuck is wrong with these people? When I make an anime, I’ll be sure to make a dog-panda mutant fuckthing. That’s kawaii, right?

sexy and not sexy

Holy fuck, I just coined a word. Fuckthing, adj; something that makes you go what the fuck?. I’m a genius.

Just by listening to her voice, I can feel my head fill with helium. What the flying fuck is her voice actress smoking? Helium cigarettes? That super high voice is, quite frankly,

FUCKING ANNOYING.

What the fuck is the appeal? She not only acts like a cat-chipmunk chimera, she also acts like a child. What the flying fuck? Why is that seen as “attractive”? How is a grown woman (or, in this case, young adult) being retarded a desirable trait? What, I guess manchildren are sexy now?

And we know she’s just shallow. That cutesy shit? All an act. Obviously. She even fucking hates Akihabara, which is why she tried to get rid of it.

Finally, that hair style is terrible.

This character sucks.


BUT WAIT!

She does, after all, regret her decision to make Akibahara “moe.” Perhaps she is actually a critique for otakudom. Maybe she embraced the shallow cuteness, the annoying fucking acts, the pretend-to-be-five-years-old, but then she discovered that that’s all retarded bullshit. Maybe Steins;Gate is telling us to get a fucking life? That maid cafes are bullshit, that everything about modern Akihabara is a grievous insult to the entire human existence? A shit stain on humanity’s tighty-whiteys, in other words?

I don’t know. I saw this show over a year again.

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